Jesus Came Up Through the Ground So Dirty

Currently Reading: Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time by Marcus J. Borg and The Gospel of Mark
Currently Hearing: Hello, Dear Wind by Page France

Well, I realized something today (and to think, it is only 2:30!)
I was in the shower, where I seem to think and hear most clearly, and I was thinking about the Gospels in the New Testament. I have been trying to read through these in the spirit of something one of my professors said in a Wisdom Literature class when I was a sophomore in college. I don't really know why this subject came up - it was a course that related to strictly Old Testament and Apocryphal literature with some comparisons to some other ancient literature, but I remember it nonetheless. Perhaps he was speaking about the neglect that many Christians are guilty of when reading their Bibles and focusing on the latter portion of the canon. Anyways, he was talking to us and said that most people know more about Paul than they do about Jesus. Ouch. Guilty. Well, for anyone that I am close to or have had a conversation dealing with spirituality in the past month or two, you know that this is something I am trying to remedy in myself. I truly, truly, truly want to have a deeper knowledge and understanding of the Christ. However, this is not nearly as easy as I want it to be. I have really wrestled with who Jesus is and how I can be more like someone that I don't really know much about. I prayed and grumbled about this issue to God, and, in a truly Divine fashion, God spoke to me one day as I spoke to God in passing while starting up my car to back out of my driveway. The verse claiming that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8) resonated in my mind. And I thought - "the message of the Gospel is this." Wow. Then, I thought, "Well, I guess that is a starting point." As I began to reflect on this, though, I realized not only is this the starting point (our redemption), it is the ending point (seeing as Christ was raised and secured for us our own bodily resurrection and full assumption of a new mode of existing), and it is also the basis for our whole journey (in that this sacrifice has made it so we are now daily being transformed as we grow in the love and knowledge of Christ).

Anyways, I said all of that to get to my newest nugget from the Great Designer. I would get/still struggle with being frustrated when I read the Gospels. I have been guilty of thinking and probably even verbalizing such things like "Why do things have to be so vague and confusing?" or "Why couldn't you have been more clear?" and even something like "Why can't the Gospels be more like Paul's letters with clearer instructions and teachings?"

Bam.

You see the connection? Remember what my Wisdom Lit. professor said? It makes sense now why most people steer clear of the Gospels in favor of those blessed Epistles. Am I being critical of Paul's writings? Not in the least bit. I thank God for what was accomplished on the Road to Damascus, giving us such a pillar that could articulate teachings and foster the embryonic Church. However, I realized that I was reading the Gospels, with all their exclamations of the New Covenant, the ushering in of this idea of grace, and a new way of thinking in Jesus in the spirit of one who still is bound to the Law. You see, I want the Gospels to give me some clear-cut morals to check myself by. I want to read about Jesus and be able to understand who he is so I can make comparisons between my life and his, rather than focusing on his love for humanity, his spirit of compassion, and his declaration of the kingdom of God that allowed for precious relationship with the triune God.

That is why I wanted the Gospels to be easy. So I would be able to read them like a list of rules and regulations. How ironic, huh? In the remainder of the New Testament, at least I could read some moral teachings and think about if I had gone against them that week. It was something tangible, something easy, something I could somewhat begin to wrap my finite mind around. But God loves the messiness, the confusion, the stretching, because all of these things are the signs of growth, maturing, reliance on the Author. So, am I removing everything but the Gospels from my New Testament canon? Never. Do I totally understand how to read the Bible in light of these new thoughts. Of course not. Will I trust the Spirit of God to continue leading me, speaking to me, being faithful to my sincere questions, and furthering my individual transformation? Definitely.

God Is Here,
Brandon