Go Go Gadget, Genius!

Currently Hearing: White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes
Currently Pondering: The Sovereignty of God As It Is Related To His Character by My Brain, Searching For Answers
Currently Not Wanting To: Put Away My Laundry by The Folded Shirts, Socks, and Sundry Items On My Bed

Well, I guess blogging is about honesty, right?
So, here goes...
Nobody worry, I am not confessing a drug addiction or my dabbling in dark arts of wizardry (I don't even like Harry Potter - there is no way I could be a witch)...
It is much less non-threatening than that, and has a lot less to do with my salvation...
However, it does have to do with my view of God (surprise, surprise - the constant struggle for clarity and search for truth that is my life)...

Basically, I am having a hard time with the idea of God's Sovereignty and Predestination...
It all began when I was reading through the book of Romans...
I would never want to just take something form the Scripture without a proper understanding of the true intention of the author and all of those elements that go into the responsible reading of biblical texts...
But, I have been thinking more and more frequently about the Knowledge of God and God's Sovereignty over all things...

First of all, I think most of us would say and agree, "if God was not Sovereign, what the heck kind of God am I serving?"

It is just growing increasingly difficult to truly just say God is in control of everything, except the stuff that seems too mean for God to have control over (i.e., salvation) without knowing how I truly feel about this subject...
This is another one of those moments where I feel like I am starting from the ground up with my faith and am still like a "baby" Christian...

Now, I understand the difference in foreknowledge/omniscience and predestination (maybe)...
And, in my mind, I can bring up the point that God can know what is going to happen without causing it to happen (I guess)...
However, when I read Scriptures lately, I see instances of a God that has total control over things, like a God that "hardens Pharaoh's heart" time and time again in order to bring glory to Godself...
I would even like to believe that perhaps God began this cycle of hardening the ruler of Egypt's heart after much cruel treatment that was bestowed upon the Israelites based on the Pharaoh's own volition out of a sense of paranoia and fear (Exodus 1:7-14) - but, wait until what I quote from Romans in a little bit!

I am not saying I think God is full of Hatred, Anger, and Wrath...
Rather, I would fully ascribe Perfect Goodness to God...
I guess what I am struggling with is the whole concept of Free Will vs. Predestination...
Maybe both of these things can occur to some level or degree...
I have a thousand thoughts and stuff swimming around in my head right now...
And, of course, a proper definition of terms is always extremely important in any instance like this...
I am quite confident that I don't even have a solid understanding of the various levels of predestination, seeing as it was never really a part of my theological training...
I have naturally winced at the idea of predestination my whole life, seeing as it was opposed to the major theological stance of those that trained me, and like so many other things in my faith, I have had some huge questions when I seriously begin to evaluate my position on the theological premise for myself...

Look at Romans, though:
"What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses, 'I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.' It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: 'I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.' Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden" (9:14-18 NIV).

I guess I do know this - God gets what God wants, somehow and some way...
I don't know what that really entails, and how it all pans out...
I really need some help, and am going to do some mad research about this topic...

Growing In the Love and Knowledge of Our Savior (Hopefully),
Brandon